Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas Sucks...,

I am not a religious person, in fact I do not even know exactly what we are suppose to be celebrating and if we are WHY does it require us spending so much money? There seems to be so much put on us emotionally on the holidays, and I Hate it! Like the Rest of the year just doesn't matter!

This year my Husband's other daughter didn't show up because she didn't have a car... my Mother in Law didn't bother to show up because she wasn't invited... Younger Brother didn't show up because he wasn't invited... Older brother decided he needed a break, and took off to Palm Springs... So it was me and my Family and I was very grateful my oldest son was hear to spend the night and day with us, my father, and my two beautiful nieces. It seemed as if we were being haunted by the one's who were not here. The house was happy but at the same time seemed empty.

I am a very black and white person, there is right and there is wrong, it doesn't matter if you are invited, or need a break the holidays are expected to be spent with family, period. In my eyes that is just the way it is. Now do I realize that not everyone in the world is as smart as me, yes I do. I have never been able to put myself before anyone much less before the ones I care about and the fact that they do hurts my heart.

I feel this wall going back up that I have tried so very hard to knock down and by the way, keep down, but it is just easier to build it stronger than to keep fighting to keep it down. I mean really neither brother bother to call, text, or even email me so really what the hell is the point. When I do stop trying neither one of the will even notice, it will just be saving me all the heartache of trying.

So it is not just Christmas that Sucks it is my families prioritizes and their thoughtless actions.But on a positive note I made a GREAT Meal and shared it with Great People who cared enough to spend it with me.

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