I think I may be growing up...

I think I may be starting to grow up. I want more in life. I want to be someone. I want to be the person that people are proud of. But like I said I am staring to grow up, not that I am yet but I think I am.

I just turned 41 years old and thanks to a very important person in my life, I have finally started thinking and doing somethings for myself. The last 20 years of my life have been about the kids and my husband. I want to go back to school, I really do and I think I will start with 1 summer on-line class. Not to much, but enough to get my feet wet again, then maybe dive in in the fall.

I don't know how to explain it but there just seems to be more of a calm about life now then there was 10 years ago. I have learned to breathe, take and deep breath, then just ease in.

I don't have to start off yelling then kick the door in just to get inside. You laugh but you know that is how I spent my twenty's and most of my thirty's. Now, shoot I'll just sit on the porch till someone shows up to unlock it if I don't have a (clue) key...

I left out a very important person

Wow it's been 5 months since I last blog. Believe it or not I really do want to do this. I just have no idea what I'm doing. I can't attach this to my ping.fm or you will get my daily posts and since starting this I have become addicted to farmville and cafeville on facebOok so that pretty much takes up all my free time and some that's not.

I just read my first post and I realize that I left out a very important person.

Marissa Valentine is my 19 year other daughter and she just isn't a part of our lives anymore. I love her as much as if she were my own, and I feel as if our family is not a whole without her but I must give her space until the day she decides she wants us a part of her life. She is in college now and on her own with a job and a apartment. I hope she knows how proud of her I am.

I have no idea what I'm doing...

I have always wanted to blog, but have never known how to do it. I admire my sister-in-laws courage to share her feelings with the world and has inspired me to try as well. Although I am not as open with my feelings but maybe I should try to be.

There are so many things I would just love to put in writing for the world to read, I just don't know how to say it.

Maybe this is a beginning.

I just turned 40 years old this year. I have given birth to 5 children, 3 of which are my own. My oldest is almost 19 and has started collage and I have 12 year old twins that are starting Jr. High on Monday. The other 2 children I had were both surrogate children I had for 2 other couples. One of which is 4 years old and the other one is almost 2.

I am currently married to my second husband whom I love very much but can't stand sometimes. (I think he may be the reason I should start blogging!) We both work with teenagers at the same place and we own our owe business which involves even more kids.

Well that’s me…